


Living without

by Bluespacechild



Series: Pretty bird [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Art, Cute, Cute!Lance, Fanart, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) - Freeform, Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lanceisart, Langst, M/M, Multi, Secrets, Shiro/Lance (Voltron) - Freeform, Sweet, Team Voltron Family, Wingfic, Wingless, Wingless Lance (Voltron), pretty!Lance, wingless!Lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22369954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluespacechild/pseuds/Bluespacechild
Summary: Lance, like many people, has a secret that hurts to keep inside. But if he lets the truth out, he knows he will find himself in danger, and he is not prepared to deal with that.What happens when Lance has to tell the truth to his team, but he can't bring himself to utter even a word?
Relationships: Keith/Lance/Shiro (Voltron)
Series: Pretty bird [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614865
Comments: 22
Kudos: 681





	Living without

**Author's Note:**

> I ended up fixing the sketch up a little, and figured out how to post it finally ;u;

* * *

* * *

Lance had always looked on fondly at the others. As wings of all different shapes and sizes stretched and glided and flapped all around him in the world, he could only watch on in awe, even stopped still in his tracks in utter amazement at some times.

Beautiful, ethereal, entrancing...

All things he never thought he could describe himself as.

After the accident that had stolen his wings away, Lance began to seclude himself, and his family, out of shame for their now wingless flock member, but not heartless enough to have him killed-

Encouraged him to hide away, loving him minimally from the shadows, out of sight of distant relatives and nosy neighbors.

At the start, shortly after losing his wings, he had been home schooled for two years, during which, he was taught to keep such an awful secret to himself. His father would force him to watch news channels, and videos of how wingless were viewed and treated by society, how they were lesser than human in the eyes of the public. But Lance couldn't be hidden away forever. Now, armed with this protective knowledge, there came a time when he needed to be sent out to a real public school. his Father and Mother would always be sure to give the staff at his school 'doctors notes'. Forged papers of made up conditions that would ensure Lance attended neither recess nor gym, that nurses wouldn't check up on his developing feathers, and that Lance rarely made any friends.

He felt lonely at all times, even surrounded by children his own age, and cooing teachers who would tell him not to be shy. 

They all seemed so nice, and he had wondered at first if he had been fed dirty lies when he heard the children singing such a horrible song...

A nursery rhyme about rounding wingless up and tossing them from somewhere high. They would sing it while skipping rope, spinning in circles, he even heard children humming it softly sometimes in class. 

It had hardened Lances resolve to keep such a horrid secret for as long as he could. And since Lance was always forced to stay near a teacher due to his 'condition', they were hardly a threat to him as long as he didn't leave their protective range...

But this didn't bother him too much, he had been expecting it.

No, the hardest part, the _loneliest_ part, was dealing with the nice ones. The ones who would ask to draw with him, to play a game with him, to eat lunch with him...

But he couldn't, for he had strict orders from his father. He couldn't trust any of them, not adults, or children, or any space a camera could possibly exist, and he _knew_ it. He had heard of the wingless who had been brutally murdered and tortured. The ones who went missing and had their corpses wash up on the beach, the ones who's bones were buried in unmarked graves, and the ones that were experimented on freely by cruel scientists eagerly looking for test subjects.

So he went through schooling without making friends with anyone, and it broke his heart when after time and time of rejection, the nice ones gave up on him, ignoring his presence like everyone else. Just as he'd hoped they would.

But it wasn't all bad.

Lance had always been fascinated with the stars. The right word might be _obsessed_ really.

He was tired of being trapped on the ground, an ant to all who flew above him.

So, when Lance applied to the garrison, he told no one where he was going. 

He had saved up money drawing freelance for a few years and working at a restaurant close by, and when his garrison application came back accepted, he had booked a train ticket, packed up his meager belongings, and never looked back.

No one looked for him.

When Lance arrived, he was happy to hear that the garrison did not allow flying on the premises due to all the aircraft on base, and wings were to be kept underneath uniforms at all times except in dorm rooms to keep uniformity in check.

Many of his classmates were irritated by these rules, but they were the only thing keeping him safe. He wondered, if perhaps there was a wingless like him working higher up so that others like himself could at least have a chance at a better life.

Somehow he doubted it.

He had expected an angsty teenager or a brooding loner when he had opened the door to his shared dorm room, surprised when he had been met with-

A hug?

He met Hunk then, who had apologized and blushed, and confessed just how excited he was to meet Lance... and Lance was reminded painfully of children singing horrible songs and asking him to join them, unknowing that the thing they so hated was right in front of them the whole time.

He decided then when Hunk looked anxiously at the floor and back up at him, Big burgundy wings fluttering nervously, that things would be different. He would be different.

He was tired of feeling so lonely.

So he greeted Hunk with a smile that hurt his face, and they had talked the night away, Lance stumbling and unused to such lengthy, in depth conversation, and Hunk not minding his new friend's struggle, gently coaxing him along until it was time to sleep.

Hunk was soon his best and only friend. But...

He could not bring himself to tell the truth, afraid of unforeseen consequences.

Shortly after, they had met Pidge, and though they were cranky and annoyed easily by Lance's new silly and carefree attitude, they seemed to grow close in a strange way, and Lance suspected that they hid something much like Lance himself did.

But he did not pry, and he spoke not a word of wings or no wings, instead following their friend to the roof and listening to chatter of Voltron.

From there it was a blur. They witnessed a government cover up in the form of one Takashi Shirogane, the garrison's top student of all time, (And Lance's Hero) crash in the desert and be taken away against his will. Keith Kogane, a student who had always managed to best Lance and irritate him (with a bug he called jealousy), save him, and then they had rushed away to a shack, found the Blue lion, and been rushed into space where they had met _aliens_.

Aliens with beautiful flowing wings.

If Lance had thought normal wings entrancing, he wasn't sure what to call these.

They stole his very breath with how they shimmered.

Allura, with wings a light and faded pink, specked in silver that caught the light just so, and Coran with wings a pale orange that faded into gold on each wing tip...

They had truly looked like angels to Lance when they had slipped out of their frozen shells, and back into the waking world. 

Confused, and crushed, knowing their world to be obliterated... Lance could feel only sadness for them.

It was then that they were informed of the war.

A war lasting ten thousand years. A war that they were losing, and would lose their home to should they refuse to fight.

Shiro had taken charge, they had found the remaining lions, and everyone bonded as they grew closer as a team...

Pidge confessed that they were a girl. Shiro confessed that his lost and replaced metallic wing made him feel lesser than he had been before. That he felt the galra had taken away his humanity...

The team quickly shut that down though. He still _had_ wings after all, they were just... different now.

It Hadn't stopped Shiro from keeping them hidden, much like Lance, when they weren't in use.

And Lance had felt hope spark in his chest. 

If they had accepted Shiro, then maybe...?

But Lance had been unable to tell them, afraid that the dream he had built of a flock would crumble away to dust. 

It had all led up to this day. The day that would make or break him.

They arrived on the planet Gnasho to defeat a Galra commander who had set up a slave camp in the people's central city. They had been victorious, and once the battle had ended, they were celebrated, thought of as heroes, and invited to a ceremony for only the highest of honored guests. 

But there was a problem.

Of course there was a problem.

The people of this planet celebrated in outfits that revealed their large and leathery wings in full, and expected the paladins to do the same.

Soon, each paladin, along with the princess and Coran, were being led away to separate changing rooms...

Lance was scared when he was led away by two large woman who smiled and talked excitedly about what color and style they would dress him in. Lance had looked frantically over his shoulder for Hunk, but found he was now alone in the hall with these strange woman.

So he did what he'd always done when he had felt frightened.

He had run.

Run as far and as fast as he could, the confused maids yelling worriedly after him but not pursuing him.

Lance had run and run and run, and when he had run as far as he could he had hidden himself in the first room he came across, quickly locking it while breathing heavily in exhaustion, leaning his forehead against the cool wood.

And then he had felt a hand on his shoulder, and had jerked away from the hold, met with a gentle voice and kind words.

"Do not worry little paladin, I do not intend to harm you. May I ask why you have barged into my bed chambers?"

And Lance had grown pale when he had tilted his head up to see...

The queen of this planet.

"I'm so sorry!" He yelled in shock, throwing his back against the doors as if to gain distance from her. "I didn't realize that this was your room, I'll leave right away!"

The woman smiled sweetly down at him. "That is not necessary, I was about to go looking for you after all, it would make no sense if you scampered off now... Your team mates are quite worried about you. Red and Black especially."

At that Lance swallowed hard.

They were all looking for him?

The queen's eyes sparkled with mirth when she saw the blush on his cheeks. "Now, I have had my maids bring several choices of garb for you to choose from, considering that they had seemed to intimidate you, whether it be their numbers or their size. The garments have complicated lacing that must be done up by another person in most places, so i do hope you will let me assist you with those, if not the entire outfit."

Lance was petrified, starring at the woman in front of him with calculating eyes.

Would she chase him down if he ran again?

But he was so tired after all that running... Would he make it far enough?

When Lance didn't answer, the queen furrowed her brows. "Perhaps if you saw all of your options of dress, it would ease your mind? All of your fellow flock have found something to their liking already..."

When she turned around, Lance thought this would be his chance to escape...

But he stopped dead in his tracks when he realized...

She was just like him.

Already dawned in a bright pink ceremonial dressing, her bare back was exposed. In the place of wings, she bore only two long scars that told him that what had once been there must have been giant, much bigger than any of the others he had seen. The pink outline of the markings against her navy blue skin revealing that they must have been pearlescent at at least the base, if not the whole wing.

He absently wished he could have seen them for himself.

Lance found himself following the queen to the bed, gazing at the pile of clothes before him in awe at how quickly their seamstresses must have made all this, considering they were all specified to his build.

The queen chattered on about what would compliment his skin, or his eyes....

What would bring out the color of his wings...

When Lance looked away in shame she had hesitated before kneeling beside him as though he were a troubled child.

"Is that why you ran...? You were scared, because you are like me?"

Slowly, Lance met her gaze, feeling himself tear up at how much he was reminded of his mother before her son had been dirtied. 

"I'm sorry" He whispered. "The people of my planet do such horrible things to people like me... I was scared you would..."

She smiled gently at him. "We would never hurt such a strong soul. For someone to loose their wings, yet find the strength to go on... We hold those people in the highest regard."

Lance's eyes shined, whether from tears or from hope he couldn't tell, but the queen didn't press him. Instead, she stood back up, holding up a flowing blue and orange garment that sparkled in the light. "Try this one on for me, I think it would be fitting for a blue paladin."

And so Lance did, no longer scared, and instead having... fun? He quite enjoyed being fawned over and dressed up actually, and he wasn't sure what that said about him...

But he tried not to think about it out of embarrassment.

They tried several different garments before Lance finally came to a decision on one, loving the fabric, and wishing he could wear it at all times.

He had settled on a pair of white Capri style leggings with a transparent blue harem styled pants over top of them, connecting to a loose bishop sleeved shirt in the same fabric in a series of intricate golden weaving. The top of his navy blue undershirt shirt roped around high on his neck, and ended just below his his bellybutton, exposed only in the back where a large hole drooped with extra fabric to lay bare where his wings should be.

The queen picked out a few accessories for him, including a pair of white slipper like shoes with pointed ends, a head piece containing one blue gem, and a ring made out of a beautiful blue stained wood for each of his middle fingers.

And with that... they were done, the queen giving him a once over as she made a few final adjustments to the lacing on his waist.

Outside of the room, Lance could hear people talking quietly, and shuffling around, and he tensed up upon recognizing his team's voices among them.

"What if they hate me when they find out? What if they reject me or... want to hurt me?"

The queen tutted. "If they should reject you, then we shall gladly take you in among our own. And I will not allow them to cause you harm."

Lance's fears were eased, but he still hoped with everything he was, that today did not come to such a horrible conclusion. 

When their footsteps neared the door, the voices hushed, anticipating Lance's arrival into the hallway.

The queen stepped forward, and with a final smile towards Lance, opened the doors, arms swooping elegantly in a practiced manner.

"I have helped the blue paladin dress, and the ceremony will commence shortly once ll participants are gathered." The queen turned to one of the maids standing in the hall. "Is all in order?"

While the queen was occupied speaking about all the final preparations, Lance quietly peeked out from the room, still half hidden behind the queens long train-

Only to find the entire team peeking around the queen to see _him,_ all dressed in similar garments as he was.

He blushed and quickly hid back behind her, shuffling farther into the room, catching the queen's attention as she stopped mid conversation to step further aside and push her dress away reveal him with a small smile.

Keith and Shiro stood center stage, noticing only Lance in his beautiful new outfit, hardly taking note of even the queen as Keith marched forward to ask what the hell Lance had been thinking running off like that, Shiro close behind...

But Keith stopped just in front of him, looking confused, starring over the other's shoulder as a shaky revelation seemed to dawn on him now that he was closer.

Hunk, who had been standing furthest left, peered into the room to try and see what had stopped Keith mid shout, and when he saw the empty space on Lance's back, he covered his mouth as tears threatened to spill, backing back out of the space. 

Pidge, who had been next to him, noticed the reaction, and roughly pushed past Hunk to see what he had been looking at, before going pale and taking a few steps back herself.

Hunk turned around so that no one would see him cry, and Pidge grabbed his sleeve to stop herself from stumbling over her own feet, looking haunted.

With shaky hands, Keith reached forward, before gently taking hold of Lances shoulders and turning him around to see it for himself.

Shiro let out a small gasp from behind Keith, Allura and Coran who stood farthest away both looked shocked and saddened by the sight, Allura looking away, unable to bare it.

As the silence stretched on, Lance was scared to turn back around, afraid of what he would see. 

Would they be angry? Like Lance's father when he ate at the dinner table and not in his room?

Would there be disgust? Like when he tried hugging his mother after losing everything and she had pushed him away?

Or would they look piteous? Like the look Lance's siblings would give in passing after they were instructed not to play with Lance anymore...?

Lance felt arms wrap around him, and he shut his eyes tight as a nose buried itself in the crook of his neck.

Keith was hugging him, and it felt like... 

It felt like a silent goodbye.

Then someone was in front of him, pushing his hair from his face while tilting his head up, and he hadn't realized he had been crying until he opened his eyes to see a blurry version of a concerned looking Shiro.

When Shiro kissed the top of his head and Keith kissed his neck, Lance came to a startling conclusion. 

"...You don't hate me?"

And he supposed that was _one_ sure fire way to receive a group hug if ever he needed one in the future, for now he was being thoroughly squished and coddled, his teammates chirping and cooing, and some (Mostly Hunk) crying their eyes out like he was, telling him that they could _never_ hate him.

Shiro was cradling Lance's head to his chest, carding fingers though his hair, and he found himself clinging right back at him, feeling comforted by the presences all around him.

Pidge had wormed her way in to hug Lance around the middle, burying her face in his trapped arm, and roughly clinging to his shirt.

Allura and Coran were standing on the outside of their hug circle, smiling gently and making low crooning sounds of welcome low in their throats.

Hunk hugged them all close, squishing them together and towards himself as if he could squish them all into one and form Voltron right then and there in the hallway.

They stayed that way, basking in the physical comfort until Lance stopped crying, reduced to quiet sniffling before they slowly began the long trek back to the grand hall. (Lance really had run a long distance, hadn't he?)

It seemed the queen and maids had opted to give them all some privacy, as they were all long gone when the hugging and crying had ended, only one single guard left to lead them back to the ceremony room.

Lance jolted when Shiro grabbed his hand, and blushed when Keith grabbed the other as they walked, leading him towards a life where he needn't be afraid of those around him, a life full of love and happiness and friendship... and there was one word he just couldn't get out of his head...

_Flock. This was his flock._

Lance thought back to his family on Earth, wondering bleakly how he _ever_ could have considered them his flock...

They made him feel like an outsider in his own home, made him feel dirty, made him feel inhuman...

And somehow, he found himself not really caring. In fact, for the first time in a long long time... 

Lance didn't feel lonely at all.


End file.
